Ranked! The worst club badges in football
What makes a good club gun? It’s an interesting question, but we’re not going to answer it here. Instead, we’ve scoured the globe to sort out the worst examples of decals, from boring to barmy, to “What’s going on here?!”
So sit back, relax and prepare to be horrified by the following 19 monstrosities…
19.Chelsea
Unlike the roaring beast that dominated the Blues’ emblem from 1986 to 2005, this incarnation of the Chelsea lion isn’t terribly intimidating.
Several changes have been made to the revamp of an older logo, so there’s no excuse for a supposedly ferocious creature that just looks pissed off that an opposing attacker passed the offside trap. Or maybe that’s exactly what Chelsea does (opens in new tab) meant all the time.
Alternatively, the king of the jungle may have been distracted while doing something important. Your guess is just as good as ours.
18. Benevento
Fabio Cannavaro’s Benevento are currently struggling to make promotion places in Serie B difficult, conceding just six goals in their opening eight games. But maybe the real reason for their fight is just karma doing its thing after seeing the club’s badge.
To be brutally honest, that witch just doesn’t look up to the job. Did it even get off the ground? And what about the clown shoes?
17. Sheriff Tiraspol
Serial winners of the Moldovan Championship and regular Europa League contenders, Sheriff was founded by a company called Sheriff, plays at Sheriff Stadium, and has a Sheriff badge as… well, badge. Clearly someone is a huge John Wayne fan.
Still, it might be an exaggeration to put a star over a star, with a soccer ball made of stars. We get it, guys.
16. Warriors
Warriors were referred to as Singapore Armed Forces FC until 2013. They were never nicknamed the Rhinos. But when the S.League rejected the Warriors’ warrior and insisted that all mascots must be animals, the club opted for a rhinoceros instead.
That’s all well and good, until you discover that no one can actually draw one. This attempt is so boring it’s almost right – “almost” is the key word in that sentence. We’re also not entirely sure why they couldn’t make it fit within the confines of the badge.
15. Rayo Vallecano
While FFT likes the fantastically left Madrid side, we think it’s also a move to use the club crest to invade capitalism by showing a stock market crash.
Rayo’s offering looks like three badges in one, as if a contest was held but the organizers couldn’t pick a winner, so they decided to just combine the three separate winner picks into one. Police officers!
14.West Ham United
The fact that ‘TIW’ adorns the crossed hammers is a nice touch, referencing club predecessors Thames Iron Works. However, the attempt to market the club globally following their move to Stratford – and the removal of Boleyn Castle from the badge – is so cynical, so blatant, that it feels like LONDON should be followed by the word (FAIR).
It’s also just kind of boring. Granted, some clubs are guilty of trying to put too much on their canvas, but it’s hard to escape the feeling that the Hammers’ weapon is half-finished.
13.Viitorul Constanta
He totally kicked this off the air, right? Perhaps the Romanian side is trying to give the opponents a false sense of security, but this is certainly not a weapon to terrify the opposition.
Our friend indeed looks far too fragile for the rough life of Liga I. We’re not saying he can’t handle the physical demands of Romania’s top flight, but even Mesut Özil would take his chance at knocking this guy off. the ball.
12. Alloa athletic
What. A badge. Alloa is doing well in the Scottish third tier at the time of writing, which we attribute to the remarkable amount of steroids they’ve pumped into their mascot. Allegedly.
We are also interested in the sweatbands he wears. Since when do wasps sweat? Something strange is going on here…
11.Manchester City
In December 2015, after prolonged dissatisfaction among some sections of the Manchester City fanbase (opens in new tab) abolished the giant eagle that had graced their coat of arms since 1997. The new design was supposed to be unveiled on Boxing Day, only for the Intellectual Property Office to spoil the surprise by posting it on their website before Christmas.
In any case, it was au revoir to the eagle, the three stars, the Latin motto ‘Superbia in Proelia’ and the less Latin ‘FC’, everyone has now accepted that Manchester City is a football club. And City fans rejoiced when the crest returned to its humble origins as a club badge on Pro Evolution Soccer.
10. Lemon F.C
Costa Rica is actually quite good at football so their Primera Division deserves better club decals than this. At least the humanoid tornado sees the funny side… or he’s sucking a Limon. We do not know.
Besides, we’re more concerned about why his left arm is so much sturdier than his right – and, as an aside, why a tornado has arms. After all, it is still able to kick a soccer ball by, like Neil Ruddock, using the power of the wind. And how does the crown stay on?
9. Genoa
The facial expression says it all. The poor old Griffin of Genoa looks baffled at all the attention; either that or he just got his beak caught in the cookie jar.
Genoa, Italy’s oldest currently active club, was founded in 1897 by Englishman James Richardson Spensley, hence the St. George’s Cross at the top of the coat of arms. Not that the griffin noticed.
8. University of Chile
The chuncho, or Australian pygmy owl, is believed to represent wisdom, knowledge and spiritual harmony, but none of those things are evident in La U’s drawing of it. What is supposed to be an owl looks more like a skull on top of an American jock’s uniform.
Over time, the owl/skull/thing’s expression has softened from anger to bewilderment, which is the path we all must eventually take. We wonder what it will look like in 50 years.
7, 6. Hamburg, Nuremberg
Make some goddamn effort, Germany, for God’s sake. It is as if the Bundesliga realized the day before its first season started that there was no way to identify its members and that every club had to come up with a logo overnight. Matches between Hamburg and Nuremberg resemble a clash between rival supermarket chains.
They’re not alone either – Werder Bremen and Wolfsburg are guilty of much the same thing. The Bundesliga may be home to fast, attacking football and a thriving fan culture, but the logo problem really needs to be addressed.
5. Wycombe Wanderers
“Gerald, what the hell have you been feeding the mascot?”
We’re not so sure about the gold either. Is the swan putting on some fancy new jewelry or is it chained around its neck to prevent it from escaping and flying away in search of a better life? The poor thing must be jealous of his brother in Swansea, who leads a much more relaxed existence.
4. AS Marsa
The Tunisian outfit features a badge straight out of a religious children’s book. And, as thrift store wisdom dictates, it’s easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than into a football field.
The creature seems to know this itself and looks at its lurid equipment as if to say, “Does my bump look big in this?” That’s the least of his worries: his right front leg is twice as long as his left and has at least three kneecaps.
No, no, this is not right at all. Someone in northern Africa is genetically modifying camel DNA.
3.RB Leipzig
The widely hated RB Leipzig is financed by Red Bull, energy drink manufacturer and patron saint of truck drivers. You may have noticed their historic club crest. By the way, their name is ‘RasenBallsport Leipzig’, meaning Lawn Ball Sports Leipzig, which of course is completely natural and happens to have the same initials as Red Bull.
But German football rules prohibit advertising on their badge. So instead, non-Red Bull Leipzig has two red bulls charging into a golden orb, in an image that is in no way reminiscent of the Red Bull logo. Could have fooled us.
2. Catania
It feels crass to criticize an incorrect scale in a club’s badge given their artistic nature. Yet this coat of arms from Catania is simply bizarre.
Why is that leather ball so ridiculously big? Shouldn’t the blue and red shield emblazoned with the club name be the main feature of the crest? Why is that elephant trying to hide behind that shield? If Babar does something naughty, football fans have a right to know.
1. Burton Albion
Most clubs try to refine their image as they reach new heights. Not Burton. The Brewers are higher up the ladder than ever before, but they refuse to let their pub team fall off a crest.
Just look at it. Stare at this exquisite monstrosity. The image Burton Albion has chosen to present himself to the world is an oddly proportioned buxom who fails to do keepy-ups in his dancing shoes. Perhaps it’s a warning of the dangers of brewers getting high on their own stock.
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